do you remember the time

that I fell in love with the Pike Place Market lighting? We went back this evening, expecting to enjoy some of that same magic but it was just sort of awful instead. I could blame it on the music (I loved last year's brass band and this year was something different) but it might have had a lot to do with the kid who was being whiny and refusing to wear socks or shoes (which I guess is fine with me until she starts in about having cold feet). She was tired and, as it turned out, hungry but that doesn't make it any less annoying. Now she is sleeping and I have marshmallows.

My second post on In South Lake Union went up Friday and I am proud to tell you that I have finally been called an unfit parent by one of my readers. You guys are always so wonderfully pleasant and supportive but I realized, as I read this comment, that I never felt like a real "mommy-blogger" until someone said I was unfit to parent. Don't get any ideas though, once was good.

Happy belated Thanksgiving!

word verification

I had to turn on the word verification feature because there was just too much Russian porn appearing in the comments. I guess I was okay with deleting it until I accidentally clicked on one of the links. Not a good surprise. Anyway, I'm sorry, I hate using word verification on other people's blogs and I've tried to keep it really simple here to encourage comments but I have to draw the line somewhere.

porcupine time

I've been writing and deleting a post about acupuncture for thirty minutes. What can I say except that it really worked? She stuck needles in me and I definitely feel different, sore like I had a deep massage or went for a long jog. She even gave me some insight on a condition I've had for four years that no western doctor could help me with. I highly recommend it.

brave new world

Today I learned that sometimes gorillas in captivity develop a type of bulimia that causes them to repeatedly throw up and then eat their own vomit. First I observed and then I googled. Frankly I was relieved to learn that it was vomit and not feces. But I'm feeling disturbed about the gorillas at the zoo. How did I ever convince myself that they were happy there? Should we stop going to the zoo? Or do our kids feel more empathy for animals when they get to meet them in person? Someone please tell me that gorillas also do this in the wild.

Other things I learned:

1) Pluto is not just gone (duh) it has been demoted to a "dwarf planet."

2) The 5 minute bread recipe is actually as easy as everyone says it is (except that the dough is exploding out of the container and will probably eat me in the night).

3) Little G can write her own name!

. . . and tomorrow I have my first ever acupuncture appointment!

the great escape

We went away on an extended date to Portland this weekend while the little one stayed with her grandparents. It was very exciting, we shopped at the Rack and we napped. I think I tried on five hundred pairs of jeans -- exhausting. Why is there no store on earth that carries jeans that fit me? The rise is all wrong. I'm a freak of nature with an unnaturally long rise. I give up. If you see me on the street in my one precious pair of magic jeans, just look away, I know I shouldn't be wearing them out of the house but I have no other choice.

There was also delicious food, consumed from the following restaurants: Pok Pok (amazing Thai food, amazing. I can't comment on the authenticity because I've never been to Thailand but there was nothing I recognized on the menu from your average neighborhood Thai place. Get the chicken wings); Mother's Bistro and Bar (jewish comfort food, classic brunch fare, cocktails all day, ginger pear belgium waffle with whipped cream); Toro Bravo (gazillions of delicious little tapas plates, desserts to die for. We don't have much spanish food in Seattle so this is a real treat for us); and finally the Pearl Bakery (beautiful bread, yummy pastries with unique flavors including gibassier with candied orange peel that I would like to try and recreate).

And now here we sit, floating happily back at home. I don't know how the uplanders do it everyday, being away from the water really takes it out of me.

happy trails or hi-yo silver, etc.

No putting it off any longer, the blog post for In South Lake Union goes up tomorrow. It's written it's edited, it's edited again. I can tell you a million things wrong with it including that I didn't realize until it was already dark that it should have pictures but I'm too scared of copyright law to put up pictures I didn't take myself. I worry that's it's not conversational enough and also that it's too conversational. Anxiety, as one friend pointed out to me today, is exhausting.

I am working on body awareness as relates to the trauma vortex. What does that mean? A lot more jumping up and down. Hippity hopping right out of dodge, away from the triggers and off into the sunset.

I'm taking the weekend off.

clinical dissociation

Tonight was another clinic night and if ever there was a real-life example of the two Americas, this was it.

My first client was an immigrant from Ethiopia who was in a car accident. He went to court on his day but it was closed due to snow and he was told to go home and wait for notification of his new court date. A few weeks later he got a letter from the court giving him multiple possible new court dates and asking him to check in and find out which it would be. This was the day after the trial occurred. That same day he received a letter from the plaintiff's attorney informing him that because he didn't show up for trial, a five digit judgment had been entered against him. Later that month he went to talk to the court about what happened but when he arrived at the office he got too scared and left. In his country, he told me, he'd tried to contact the court once and it hadn't turned out well for him. So here he was, almost a year later, an immigrant truck driver with no driver's license. He happened to mention that he got down on his knees and prayed before our appointment because this was his last hope.

The next client was a professional who impulsively bought an expensive oriental carpet from someone on the internet, decided she didn't like it and wanted to give it back. I had a little trouble keeping my cool as she settled into her chair and explained that the carpet just didn't fit well in her space. I'm nodding and smiling on the outside, I'm shouting GET OUT on the inside. Please come back when you have an actual problem (see above). But human beings can adjust to just about anything and frankly, it was nice to get a problem I could solve. Of course she turned out to be perfectly nice in the end and I enjoyed talking with her. But wow. I'm not sure when I'll get over this.

It is not up to me to complete the work . . . but I'll be damned if I don't keep showing up.